


The Head, The Eye & The Heart

by owlways_and_forever



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Photographer, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-28 03:13:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17174777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlways_and_forever/pseuds/owlways_and_forever
Summary: Emma Swan admires Killian Jones much more than she would like anyone to know. A few drinks, some karaoke, and a little matchmaking at the office Christmas party gives her the opportunity to get to know him better, but can Emma give Killian a chance, or will she close herself off to the possibility of romance?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hookedonapirate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hookedonapirate/gifts).



Emma scrolled through the images on the screen, her heart stuttering with each shot she saw. As usual, the images that had been uploaded were phenomenal, and she couldn’t decide which one was her favourite. Killian Jones, the star photographer of The Storybrooke Photography Co., was more talented than anyone Emma had ever seen, and she couldn’t resist looking at his photographs whenever he uploaded a new assignment to their server. There was just something about them that made her feel... magical. She often found herself jealous of his ability, when all she could do was sign paychecks for the staff (and privately think that, despite the large sum that Killian raked in for his photos, it wasn’t nearly enough).

This particular assignment was a series of photos of Ellie Goulding, recording acoustics in Abbey Road Studio. The setting itself would have been iconic, but Killian had managed to capture the emotion in her eyes, and somehow Emma seemed to know exactly what songs were being sung in each photo. She hovered over one, clicking to enlarge the image. Somehow she just knew it was Dead in the Water. Her favourite song. She could see the anguish written plainly across her face, etched in every muscle. It was just a photograph, but somehow it seemed to move with emotion.

“Hey Emma!”

Mary Margaret startled Emma out of her daydream as she poked her head through the door to Emma’s office. She quickly closed out of the photo server, pulling up her accounting sheets and trying to look innocent. She didn’t want anyone in the office to know how much time she spent looking at Killian’s photos.

“What’s up?” Emma asked curiously.

“I was wondering if you could give me a hand organizing the office Christmas party this year,” Mary Margaret answered with a sheepish grin.

“Oh, I don’t know, I’m not that into Christmas and I’m definitely not a party person,” Emma protested, starting to shake her head.

“Please Emma!” Mary Margaret pleaded. “Usually David helps me plan it, but he’s home with the baby and –“

Emma sighed, knowing there was no point in arguing. Mary Margaret was able to convince her to do just about anything when she mentioned her husband and their cute little son. David was another photographer with the company, though he mostly focused on animals and wildlife rather than people, capturing stunning shots of nature. They had gotten married a little over a year ago, and then had their son in September. Mary Margaret had come back to work when her maternity leave ended, and David had decided to take a sabbatical to stay home and take care of the baby.

“Okay, fine, but let’s not go too crazy with the party this year,” Emma said, raising an eyebrow. Mary Margaret had a tendency to plan very elaborate parties, especially when it came to Christmas.

Mary Margaret rolled her eyes and laughed lightly in response.

“Christmas parties should be at least a little bit crazy,” she joked as she turned to leave. “Coffee later to start planning?”

“Sure,” Emma agreed, turning back to her work.

Around 4’o’clock, the post-lunchtime lull started to really hit Emma, and she found herself struggling to keep her eyes open. She had finished most of her work for the day, and what there was left on her to do list could wait until the morning. She quickly threw her belongings in her back, and grabbed her favourite red leather jacket, heading out the door. She stopped by Mary Margaret’s office, tapping lightly on the frame of the door as she peered around it.

“Wanna duck out a little bit early and grab coffee?” Emma asked when Mary Margaret had looked up.

She looked hesitant for a moment, and Emma knew it was her rule-abiding nature telling her that she couldn’t leave work early, but then she grinned.

“Absolutely, just let me finish this email,” Mary Margaret answered.

Five minutes later, the two of them were walking down the sidewalk, heading in the direction of Granny’s, the little mom & pop coffee shop they frequented. They both got oversized mugs of hot chocolate, adding a dash of cinnamon to them – a trick Mary Margaret had taught Emma early in their friendship.

“So, I was thinking,” Mary Margaret said, diving straight in, “there’s this renovated warehouse bar downtown that specifically does events like this. It could be a good place to have the Christmas party!”

“Really?” Emma sighed, wrinkling her nose. “You don’t just want to have it in the conference room or something?”

“No!” Mary Margaret exclaimed, scandalized. “Emma, it has to be special.”

“Okay, fine, fine, the warehouse bar thing sounds good,” Emma said, holding up her hand in surrender. She had a feeling that a lot of this party planning would just be agreeing with whatever Mary Margaret wanted to do.

“What do you think the theme should be?” Mary Margaret asked, pulling a notebook and pen out of her bag and beginning to scribble meticulously neat notes in it.

“I don’t know, winter wonderland?” Emma suggested half-heartedly.

“That’s not very original,” Mary Margaret replied, her expression souring at Emma’s apparent disinterest.

“Are you guys talking about the office Christmas party?”

Ruby Lucas, the receptionist and organizational assistant for Storybrooke, walked toward them, a to go cup of hot coffee in her hand. Elsa Fisher-Arendelle, a junior editor, was not far behind, her intricate blonde braid nestled in front of her shoulder.

“Yep,” Emma answered unenthusiastically, and Mary Margaret flashed her an exasperated look.

“We’re trying to decide on a theme,” she said, inviting the two women to sit down with them.

Ruby promptly took the proffered seat, tossing her jet black hair over her shoulder and setting her cup down on the table. Her bright red lipstick had left a perfect print on the edge.

“You know what you should really do,” Ruby said, leaning in conspiratorially, “is throw a Killian Jones-themed Christmas party.”

“Why?” Mary Margaret asked, confusion written all over her face.

“I heard he’s kind of a Grinch, so it’d be funny,” Ruby shrugged, taking another gulp of her latte. “And isn’t this Christmas his 5-year anniversary with the company or something?”

“Yeah, it is,” Emma answered, her cheeks flushing pink and warm, embarrassed to know any details about Killian Jones, let alone as many as she did.

“So that’s perfect!” Ruby said, clapping her hands together. “Five Christmases with Killian.”

“You could do five little stations,” Elsa suggested quietly, “and put some of his photos from each year around them.”

“I actually don’t hate it,” Mary Margaret agreed, her eyes glazing over as she grew lost in thought. “I think we could make that work.”

“Glad to have solved your problem,” Ruby said, standing and blowing them a kiss as she bounced away.

If Emma were writing a Christmas movie, she might have thought Ruby was a Christmas angel or something, the way she popped up and disappeared so suddenly, after achieving whatever task she was destined to complete.

“So what should the five stations be?” Mary Margaret asked Emma, pulling her out of her dreamland.

“Um... food, booze...” Emma began, ticking off the options on her fingers, “...snacks, water, and...Christmas tree decorating?”

“Okay, well the Christmas tree thing is not a horrific idea,” Mary Margaret said, laughing at her friend’s antics. “But what if we made it like a wishing tree? So we would half decorate the tree, and then leave some baubles and sharpies on a table for everyone to write their Christmas wish on the bauble and then hang it on the tree.”

“I don’t know how I feel about everyone in the office being able to read my Christmas wish,” Emma countered, frowning a little.

“Okay, that’s fair,” Mary Margaret agreed, nodding. “What if you wrote the wish on a slip of paper and put it inside the bauble? We could get those clear ones and then have a few other decorative things – glitter, lights, etc. – to put in the bauble with the wish.”

“Yeah, I actually like that,” Emma conceded, a smile starting to spread across her face as she felt the Christmas spirit begin to bloom inside her.

“Okay, so that’s one station down, any ideas for the others?” Mary Margaret asked, jotting the idea down in her notebook.

“Um, we could do a little photo booth thing?” Emma offered hesitantly. “Get some props – maybe a mix of Christmas and Killian-related – for people to hold, and a backdrop of Christmas lights.”

“Emma, are you sure you aren’t a photographer? That sounds perfect!” Emma smiled in gratitude, glad Mary Margaret liked her idea. Sometimes she secretly longed to be behind a lens, but she didn’t think she really had the talent for it.

“So what else?” Emma asked, changing the subject.

“What about making Christmas cards for the kids at the local children’s hospital?” Mary Margaret suggested, and Emma nodded.

“That’s cute, it’ll be sweet,” Emma agreed, and Mary Margaret added it to the notebook.

“Okay, two more,” she said, and Emma thought carefully.

“Would it be too messy to decorate Christmas cookies?” she asked cautiously.

“Maybe, but who cares!” Mary Margaret answered enthusiastically.

“’Okay,” Emma laughed, sipping at the last of her hot chocolate. “Last one.”

“Christmas karaoke?” Mary Margaret suggested, and Emma wrinkled her nose.

“Do we have to?” she asked, frowning.

“It’ll be fun!” Mary Margaret answered. “You don’t have to sing if you don’t want to, Emma, but I guarantee, people always love karaoke.”

“Okay, if you insist,” Emma agreed, and Mary Margaret beamed.

“If I take care of all the Christmas-related decoration and such, do you think you can take care of all the Killian-related things?” Mary Margaret asked Emma, already making lists of decorations to get or bring.

“Why? It’s not like I know him,” Emma said, blushing lightly.

“I know, but you’re not a big Christmas person, so I figured of the two...” Mary Margaret shrugged. “Why, is that a problem?”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Emma answered hurriedly. “What kind of things do you want?”

“Mostly just photos that he’s taken, a few from each of the years that he’s been here, preferably Christmas shots. And maybe a few photos of him as well if there are any.”

“Okay, I can do that,” she nodded. It was a simple enough task.

“And see if you can find out some details about him – favourite foods, favourite colours, that kind of thing,” Mary Margaret added, chewing on the end of her pen absentmindedly.

“I’ll see what I can do, but I’m not sure anyone in the office knows him that well,” Emma said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you liked this, and would like to donate to me Ko-Fi account, please go here (ko-fi.com/owlwaysandforever)! If not - I love and appreciate you anyway!


	2. Chapter 2

Emma stepped back from the Christmas tree, examining her work. The ornaments – gold and shades of red, a few so dark they almost looked black – were spaced out, leaving gaps for her coworkers to hang their Christmas wishes, but it didn’t look empty. Satisfied, Emma began laying things out on the table, first the ornaments, paper, pens, and stuffing options, and then the five photos she had picked out from Killian’s first year with the company.

Killian had taken three Christmas assignments that year – the Boston Ballet’s annual production of The Nutcracker, a day at Boston’s annual Christmas Market, and the Blink! Holiday Light Show at Faneuil Hall. He had also attended Midnight Mass at the Cathedral of the Holy Cross, and Emma had learned that Killian never went anywhere without his camera, assignment or not. That gave her four Christmas photos taken by Killian that year. A ballerina alone on stage, standing on pointe, with fake snow falling all around her; a young woman looking at handmade glass blown ornaments; a little boy laughing in the glow of the flashing lights; a black and white photo of the priest in full Christmas garb, waving the thurible, thin tendrils of fragrance wafting from it. The last picture for that year was one of Killian that David had taken in black and white at their Christmas party that year. He was holding a Santa had, long fingers wrapped around the puff of white at the top, and he was looking down at it seriously, like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Emma picked up the framed photo, resisting the urge to run her thumb over printed Killian’s sad looking face.

“It’s a pretty good picture, if I do say so myself,” David laughed, stepping up behind Emma and giving her a side hug.

“For someone who doesn’t take pictures of _people_ much,” Emma teased, putting down the photo and returning David’s hug.

Baby Henry was snug in a little Baby Bjorn, blinking up at Emma and looking much wiser than a mere three months old. He was a serious baby, crying rarely and not often babbling like other babies did. It was almost like he was listening and watching, cataloguing everything in his memory so he would have stories to tell later.

“Think he’s gonna like all this?” David asked, nodding at the decorations around the room.

“Probably not,” Emma shrugged, “but I barely know him. You’re his friend, what do you think?”

“I don’t know that Killian really has any friends, to be honest,” David answered seriously. “He keeps himself pretty isolated. I’m sure he’ll be a little embarrassed by all this, but I don’t think he’ll be upset. He just doesn’t like to be in the spotlight.”

“Photography was a good choice for him then,” Emma smiled.

She turned and saw that a number of people had arrived while she had been talking to David, all milling about and looking at the stations they had set up. It was a bit early for karaoke, before anyone had any drinks, so there was some Christmas music playing lightly, but all the other stations were in full swing. She drifted through the room for a little while, chatting with her coworkers and fulfilling whatever duty she might have as co-planner of the party.

When Emma had made the rounds and spent a sufficient amount of time talking to people, she found herself back at the wishing tree table. A few baubles had been hung, filled with beads and glitter and the hopes of her coworkers. Emma grabbed a pen and quickly scrawled two words on one of the little slips of paper. She folded it carefully and stuffed it into the bauble, adding some gold tinsel and sprigs of holly berries. She checked to make sure that the paper couldn’t be read, and when she was satisfied, she closed it, and hung it on the tree. Her eyes wandered to the photos on the table once more, transfixed by their beauty.

“So, what’d you wish for?”

Emma jumped a little at the voice, and turned to see Killian standing unnervingly close. She could feel his warm breath on her neck, and see how many different shades of blue there were in his eyes.

“If I tell you, isn’t that bad luck?” she asked, avoiding his question.

“Only if you believe that,” Killian answered with a smile.

“Better not to risk it,” Emma said, stepping to the side so Killian could write a wish if he wanted to.

Killian moved toward the table bending over it to write his wish, and then crumpling it into a loose ball for his ornament. He carefully threaded a short strand of battery-powered lights through the opening, and then dropped some red and white ribbons inside. Satisfied, he hung the ornament on the tree, just a few branches over from Emma’s. He stepped back and seemed to notice the framed photos on the table for the first time.

“Your pictures are great,” Emma said, breaking the silence and nearly wincing at how lame it sounded.

“Thank you,” Killian replied automatically, as he reached for the one David had taken. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen this one before.”

“Your first Christmas here,” she answered, though she was sure he knew that. “David took it at the Christmas party I think.”

“Aye, I remember it,” he mused, lost in thought. “He captured the moment well, though I can’t say I’m glad he did.”

“Why not?” Emma asked, confused by his words.

“It wasn’t a particularly good year.” He didn’t explain for a few moments, his eyes glazing over as he reminisced. “My wife was killed, earlier that year, so it was my first Christmas without her.”

“Killian, I’m so sorry,” she said, reaching out and touching his arm tentatively.

“It’s been a long time,” he answered, as if saying that it didn’t matter anymore.

“Some losses never leave us,” Emma replied, and Killian smiled slightly.

Mary Margaret watched Emma and Killian talking from the cookie decorating station, and she could practically see electricity sizzling in the air. She knew Emma hated meddling, but sometimes everyone needed a little push. So Mary Margaret excused herself and went over to the karaoke table, quickly editing the sign up sheet.

“So I was thinking,” Mary Margaret said sweetly, cozying up to the pair of them, and looping an arm around each, “that it would be really good if the coordinator of the party and the subject of it opened the karaoke with a nice little duet.”

“That’s a great idea, you should do it,” Emma answered sarcastically, not at all keen to get up and sing in front of her coworkers.

“I was thinking it should be you,” she replied innocently, as if it weren’t the most blatant set up.

“But you’re the party’s planner,” Emma argued, even though she knew it was useless. The whole coordinator thing was just a charade, an innocent excuse to push them both together.

“Oh, I don’t think David would like it if I did karaoke with someone else,” Mary Margaret scoffed, flapping her hand in dismissal. “He can be very jealous sometimes.”

It was a huge lie and Emma knew it, though maybe Killian didn’t. David had been engaged to another woman – Abigail something – when he and Mary Margaret had met, and he’d broken things off three months before the wedding to be with her. For Emma, it reinforced how fickle and fleeting romantic feelings could be, but for David it had quite the opposite effect. He always said something in him had just known that Mary Margaret was the other half of his heart, of his soul, and no one else could ever be as right for him. He was so confident, so sure in their relationship, that Emma didn’t think he had ever experienced a moment of jealousy.

“Come on,” Mary Margaret pressed, pushing them both towards the little stage that was set up along one wall. “The song is going to start any second now.”

With a light chuckle, Killian shrugged and hopped up onto the platform, grabbing one of the two mic stands and adjusting the height like he was a real professional who cared about everything being _just right_. Emma sighed heavily and shot a glare at Mary Margaret before joining Killian and trying to mentally prepare herself for what was surely about to be a very embarrassing episode.

Emma stood next to Killian on the little stage feeling very awkward, a spotlight warming her skin to an uncomfortable degree. Music began to play, the sound of drums and maybe a violin, and words began to scroll across the screen in front of them. She didn’t recognize the song, but from the smile that flitted across Killian’s face, he did, and she wasn’t about to let him show her up. Still, she let him start them off, so she could get a feel for the tune.

“Stockings are hung with care, the children sleep with one eye open,” he crooned, his voice as smooth as good whiskey, and Emma’s jaw nearly hit the floor at the sound of it. _Damn, he was good_. “Now there’s more than toys at stake, ‘cause I’m older now but not done hoping...”

He looked at Emma and winked subtly as the music continued between verses, and she readied for her cue.

“The twinkling of the lights, the scent of candles fill the household,” Emma sang, clear and high, reading the words as they came up in front of her. _What the hell was this sappy song?_ “Old saint Nick has taken flight, with a heart on board so please be careful.”

More music twinkled between them and Emma took a deep breath, ready for the chorus and whatever sappy love lyrics Mary Margaret had chosen for them.

“Each year I ask for many different things, but now I know what my heart wants you to bring,” they both sang, perfectly harmonized. Emma couldn’t help but toss Killian an incredulous look at just how good they sounded together (which was mostly his doing). “So please just fall in love with me this Christmas. There’s nothing else that I would need this Christmas, won’t be wrapped under the tree. I want something that lasts forever, so kiss me on this cold December night...”

Emma felt like the words of the song were starting to weasel their way into her mind, because suddenly she couldn’t help but stare at Killian’s lips, trying to imagine how soft they must be.

“A cheer that smells of pine, a house that’s filled with joy and laughter... the mistletoe says stand in line, loneliness is what I’ve captured...’ A fleeting look of pain crossed his face, and it occurred to Emma that maybe Killian had a very good reason not to like Christmas. Perhaps he was just as lonely as she was, if she let herself be honest. “Oh but this evening can be a holy night. Let’s cozy up on our fireplace, and dim those Christmas lights...”

Killian smiled at Emma and waggled his eyebrows suggestively, but Emma was learning to see through him, and she could see how the smile was forced, how his eyes lacked the brightness that he was able to capture so well in other people. She coupled her voice with his, until it sounded like they were doing an intricate dance together, lilting and tumbling in unison.

“So please just fall in love with me this Christmas. There’s nothing else that you will need this Christmas, won’t be wrapped under the tree. I want something that lasts forever, so kiss me on this cold December night...”

The second time around, the chorus came out more like a prayer than the meaningless words of a silly Christmas karaoke song. Emma felt every second of her silly crush on Killian rising up within her at once, crashing over her like a tsunami of emotion and desire. Her heart was racing, and she could feel a flush spreading across her cheeks, as Killian stared at her with intensity.

“They call it the season of giving, I’m here, yours for the taking,” Emma breathed, her eyes fixed on Killian’s. “They call it the season of giving, I’m here ,I’m yours...”

“Just fall in love with me this Christmas. There’s nothing else that we will need this Christmas, won’t be wrapped under a tree,” they sang, finding a rhythm together. “I want something that lasts forever, ‘cause I don’t wanna be alone tonight. I’m wearing our Christmas sweater, while talking to the mistletoe tonight. I want something that lasts forever, so kiss me on this cold December night...”

The music danced and turned into something magical, like the sound of snow falling and a sleigh sliding silently through it, before slowing for the final words.

“They call it the season of giving, I’m here, yours for the taking,” Emma repeated, finding more meaning in the words than she would have liked. She felt the intensity in her own gaze, matched in Killian’s blue eyes. “They call it the season of giving, I’m here –“

“I’m yours,” he joined in, and Emma couldn’t help but wonder if the words were real or just prescribed by the song.

Emma felt like she had a lump in her throat as the last notes of the music drifted into nothing, and the spotlight on them began to fade. Something in the words of the song had awaken in her feelings that she frankly would have preferred stayed dormant. As she looked at Killian, she felt her heart beat more quickly than she thought possible, and it seemed impossible that no one else could see it pounding away in her chest.

They stepped off the stage with everyone’s eyes on them, and Emma felt the immediate need to be somewhere more private. She strode quickly toward the back hallway and pushed open the heavy metal door that served as an emergency exit (though she knew the alarm wasn’t turned on). The air had cooled off significantly, so much that it felt like it might even snow before dawn came. It felt good on her skin, which was far too hot from the spotlight and maybe also because of Killian and they way he made her heart beat fast.

“Swan!” he called, bursting out of the door behind Emma and almost colliding with her. “Are you alright?”

He reached out to brush his fingers lightly along her arm, and she felt like her skin was electric where it met his. She turned to face him more fully, and quickly found herself drowning in his blue eyes, looking at her with entirely too much emotion in them.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Emma replied, shaking her head lightly to clear it and conjuring up a smile. “Just a little hot, that’s all.”

“Are you sure, love?”

Killian took a step closer to her, his eyes flicking to her lips, and Emma’s breath hitched. Her imagination was running wild again, and she was so tempted to act on it, to make one (or more) of her fantasies come true.

“Swan?” he prompted, bringing her back to reality.

He was even closer now, enough that she could feel his body heat radiating off of him like a beacon, and she gave a little involuntary shiver, wishing that she had a coat.

“I just... needed some air,” she reaffirmed, swaying into his space slightly. “It was all... the song, and the lights, and... it was just too much.”

“Aye, it got a bit intense,” he replied, smiling radiantly. “But I didn’t not mean it. We don’t know each other very well, but I very much would like to change that. Emma, I –“

Emma closed the distance between them, her fingers wrapping around the lapels of his jacket as she crashed her lips into his. It took a second of surprise before he was responding, his lips moving against hers while one hand tangled in her hair and the other drifted across the contours of her back. He pulled her close to him and turned slightly, forcing her to follow, never breaking their kiss, and then walked her backward, until her back met the hard surface of the building’s brick wall. She gasped slightly, and Killian used the opportunity to slide his tongue across her lips, dipping inside. Emma hitched her right leg up around Killian’s thigh, enough to allow him to settle between her legs, pressing deliciously against her. His hand slipped under her shirt, fingertips running across her skin tentatively, until Emma squeezed her leg tighter around him in encouragement, a soft moan escaping from her mouth into his, and then he palmed her waist, fingers pressing into her skin. Killian’s hand trailed upward, cupping her breast and drawing out another moan from her.

“Killian?”

They flew apart like caught teenagers, Emma quickly pulling her shirt down and trying to look anywhere but at the stranger who had just opened the door and found them in the middle of making out.

“L-Liam?” Killian stammered, his expression changing from purely shocked to shocked and very, very happy. “What on earth are you doing here?”

“I was told this party was to celebrate you, little brother,” Liam answered, and his tone sound angry, or maybe disappointed. “I came all the way from Ft. Bragg for this, had to ask permission for a special leave and everything.”

“I didn’t know,” Killian whispered, looking every bit like a small child being scolded.

“And I get here to find you ignoring the lovely party that’s been put together in your honor, all to take up with this... this...” Liam was starting to pace, his hands gesticulating wildly.

“Emma,” Killian provided, hoping to prevent Liam from calling her something he couldn’t take back.

“I don’t care about the latest in your long line of dalliances, brother!” Liam nearly exploded.

Emma took that as her cue to leave, and she slipped away into the shadows, moving through the alleyway toward the front of the warehouse as quickly as she could.

“Liam, if I had known you were coming,” she heard Killian plead from a distance. “Can’t we just forget about this and enjoy the time we have together?”

If Killian wanted to forget about this, Emma could certainly oblige him. It would be easier than peanut butter and jelly to avoid Killian, and Emma felt sure that in a few days, she could completely erase this incident from her memory. She felt embarrassed and angry and about fifty other things, but the general gist of it was that she felt like shit.

Emma didn’t hear what Killian said to his older brother as they turned to go back inside. He put a hand on Liam’s shoulder, stopping him with one hand on the door, holding it open.

“Emma’s not a dalliance,” he insisted, blue eyes brimming with sincerity. “She’s different, special, _substantial_.”’

“Yes, she seemed like it,” Liam answered, dryly.

“Liam, I mean it, she could be... I don’t know, she could be something,” Killian said, looking off into the alleyway. “She makes me feel again.”

“I’m sorry, little brother,” Liam replied, having the decency to look ashamed of the way he behaved.

“Let’s get inside, perhaps you can meet Emma more... properly,” Killian suggested, grinning at his brother, now that they had made peace. “And you can apologize to her.”

Inside, Emma found her coat as quickly as possible, shoving her arms through the sleeves violently and wrapping her scarf around her neck. She spotted David nearby, chatting with Elsa, and she made her way over to them.

“Hey, I’m going to duck out early,” Emma said to David, shifting uncomfortably under his gaze. “I don’t think the eggnog agreed with me, so I’m gonna head home.”

“Are you okay?” David asked, his eyes laced with concern. “Do you need a ride?”

“Nah, I’m fine, I’ve got the bug,” Emma answered, pasting a smile on her face. “Just let Mary Margaret know?”

“Of course,” he answered, nodding. “Do you want us to bring you anything?”

“No, seriously, it’s nothing, I just need to lie down and maybe have some water,” Emma insisted, starting to back away.

“Okay, well feel better!” David called as Emma turned and walked away, tossing a wave goodbye behind her.

She felt absolutely awful, but it wasn’t indigestion, or anything to do with eggnog. She felt like her heart had just been pounded with the world’s heaviest mallet, and it was entirely her own stupidity that had led to it. One silly song and an ill-advised make out session and Emma had been ready to swoon for Killian. In a way, she was grateful that his brother had interrupted them, and prevented something even more regrettable from happening.

Emma felt irritable and keyed up as she made her way back to her apartment, cursing herself and Killian for being stupid, Liam for interrupting, and Mary Margaret for interfering in the first place. She slammed the door of her apartment shut behind her and collapsed in her bed, groaning in frustration. Half of her already regretted that she had made out with Killian, but half of her wished she could have taken him home to satisfy her the way she had no doubt he could. She closed her eyes and reached down, fingers trying to relieve some of the tension built up inside.

At the party, Killian led his brother around, halfheartedly introducing him to the people who he was most acquainted with, all the while looking around for Emma. He thought he saw her for a moment, but it was Elsa, and Killian couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his chest. He wasn’t sure why he was so attached to Emma, after all, he barely knew her, beyond the occasional email they exchanged when his paychecks were ready. But something in him just called out for her, and he felt a kind of attachment to her that he hadn’t felt for anyone in a long time.

“David!” Killian called out to his friend (or at least the closest person he had to a friend these days). “Have you seen Ms. Swan?”

“Yeah, Emma left about an hour ago, why?” David asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

“We were just having an interesting conversation that got interrupted, that’s all,” Killian answered, before excusing himself politely.

He wandered through the party, lost in his own thoughts. Had Emma left because she regretted what had transpired between them? Had she been offended by Liam’s words? Was he reading too much into her sudden disappearance? Without meaning to, Killian found himself by the wishing tree, eyeing the many ornaments that were hung. Throughout the night, it seemed that almost the entire office had hung ornaments with wishes in its branches. He reached out and ran his fingers over the ornament he had seen Emma hang earlier, thinking intently about her.

Without thinking, but careful to make sure that no one was watching, Killian carefully plucked Emma’s bauble from the wishing tree, and tucked it in his pocket for safekeeping. He had resolved to do his best to make Emma’s wish come true, however small or large it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you liked this, and would like to donate to me Ko-Fi account, please go here (ko-fi.com/owlwaysandforever)! If not - I love and appreciate you anyway!


	3. Chapter 3

Forgetting about the incident at the Christmas Party proved much harder than Emma expected. At night, she couldn’t help but feel Killian’s hand trailing along her sides, ghosting over her breast. She could recall the feel of his kisses, and she never failed to get lost in the memory, particularly at the most inopportune times. She felt like she’d become a ghost when she was at the office, barely interacting with anyone, as she was so lost in her own mind.

Days passed, and Emma did her usual work, processing payments and tracking photograph sales. So close to the end of the year, there was not much to do, other than prepare the last paycheck of the year for all the staff. It would be busier once the new year had begun, and she could begin to process everything from the holidays. But as it was, the final days of the year were dull and tedious, allowing Emma to spend her time lost in thought, and filling her heart with regret.

Killian had tried to see her once since the party, stopping by her office at the end of lunch, and Emma had seen him as she’d been coming back from the little diner down the street. She’d stopped and hidden from him, only returning to her office when she was sure he had gone. Mary Margaret had mentioned that Killian had come to talk to her twice, both times asking her about Emma and whether she was alright.

On New Year’s Eve, Emma agreed to go out with Mary Margaret and David. It was nothing fancy, but the pub down the street from their townhouse was having a special party, and it was one of their favourite locations to hang out, so they had thought it might be nice for a night. Emma didn’t really feel up to partying, but the idea of spending New Years Eve alone at home seemed too sad, so she had agreed to tag along. The one encouraging thing about it was that Emma knew for sure that Killian wouldn’t be there, so perhaps she would have a chance to find some handsome stranger and erase the feel of Killian from her mind.

Emma indulged in a few drinks before she left her apartment to meet Mary Margaret and David, hoping that it would keep her mind from drifting to people she most definitely did not want to be thinking about. But the party at the bar was a mistake, because everyone at that bar seemed to have showed up with a spouse, fiancé, or partner, except Emma. She was beginning to regret her choice to go out, and was contemplating how best to excuse herself without hurting her friends’ feelings. Maybe she would just go to bed early and wake up in the new year, hoping that her heart could leave its feelings behind in the old one.

“I never had a chance to give you your Christmas present.”

Emma spun around so fast, her drink slopped over the sides of her tumbler, spilling onto her shoes, not that she noticed one bit. Because standing right in front of her, looking impeccably – and _impossibly_ – good, was Killian Jones. If Emma believed in magic, she would have thought Killian was some kind of fairy or something.

“What gift?” she asked, curiosity getting the better of her. Maybe they could pretend nothing had happened in that alleyway during the Christmas party.

Tentatively, Killian pulled his left hand from behind his back, a small rectangular package in it. At first glance, it looked like a book, but when he handed it to Emma, she could feel that it was something different.

“Go on,” he encouraged, giving her a curt smile.

All things considered, Killian didn’t look as happy to see Emma as she might have expected. He hardly said more than he had to, and though he had sought her out, his smiles seemed tight and his muscles tense.

She pulled the wrapped paper – it was simple and classic, cream coloured paper with crimson deer arrayed across it, taped so perfectly it looked professional – off, to reveal two photo frames, complete with photos. Both were black and white, and Emma immediately recognized them as being from the Christmas party. The first was of her and Mary Margaret decorating the Christmas tree – they had baubles in their hands and both were laughing hysterically at something. It was crystal clear from the photo that the two of them had a strong bond, far beyond just coworkers. The second picture was of Emma talking to David, baby Henry’s hands reaching out from his little carrier to grab at Emma’s fingers. Her eyes were sparkling and happy, David’s face sincere and earnest in their conversation. Emma felt a little teary just looking at the images.

“I didn’t even realize you had your camera with you,” Emma whispered, running her finger delicately over the photographs.

“Never go anywhere without it, love, you never know what beauty you might see,” he answered with a grin.

Emma smiled shyly in return, a soft and special thing, and Killian wished he could capture that on film. She was so beautiful with a strength and fierceness that positively radiated from her.

“I have a confession to make,” Killian said, leaning in to whisper in Emma’s ear, and the feel of his breath on her neck brought back steamy memories of an alleyway at Christmas and unfinished business. She drew away slightly, giving him a quizzical look. He took a deep breath, steadying himself. “I read your wish, from the tree.”

“You did what?!” Emma reeled, feeling something like angry. It certainly felt like a violation, but then, something in her said that Killian was the one person she could trust to understand the wish, and she couldn’t find it in her to be truly mad about it.

“I wanted to grant it, whatever it was,” he said, his blue eyes positively melting her. “Look at the back.”

Emma flipped the frames over, finding Killian’s neat writing scrawled across the backing. On the back of the photo of her, David, and Henry, he had written _Never forget, you have a family,_ and on the other it continued _With love, K._ Emma was speechless as she read the words, unable to even begin to express how special a gift he had just given her.

“Emma, I would very much like to make all of your dreams come true, or at least I’d like to try,” Killian said, stepping closer and reaching out his hands to tentatively brush against her waist.

Vaguely, Emma was aware of people counting down to the new year, but it didn’t matter. She reached out and tangled her fingers in Killian’s hair, pulling his lips to hers and fitting them together perfectly. This kiss was much more intimate than the one they had shared in the alleyway, both taking time to read everything the other was feeling. Finally, Emma understood what David had always said about knowing you’d found the other half of your soul. In Killian’s arms, Emma felt her walls, her doubts and misgivings, all melt into insignificance. Her scars would always be with her, but she knew with inexplicable certainty that Killian could see past them, and that letting him into her heart wouldn’t be a risk in the least.

“Happy New Year, Emma,” Killian whispered, pulling away every so slightly and running his thumb across Emma’s jaw.

“Happy New Year, Killian,” she echoed, before closing the gap between them once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you liked this, and would like to donate to me Ko-Fi account, please go here (ko-fi.com/owlwaysandforever)! If not - I love and appreciate you anyway!


End file.
